This picture was taken sometimes in the early 80's during a family trip to Mount Desert Island, Maine to visit our 'Grandmother and Grandfather' Harlow (they were actually our great uncle's in laws but acted just as and asked to be called grandparents). They had a 16th century house in Pretty Marsh on the quiet side of the island. The plot overlooked a beautiful coastal marsh that was filled with enough sea life to keep kids entertained for hours.People have always commented that Mary is a quiet girl. One evening, we were digging for clams next to the little bridge that crosses the marsh's outlet channel. The tide had just gone out and the mud was pretty mucky. While my dad and I were concentrating on collecting the night's meal, I realized after a while that we hadn't heard my sister in a while. Since it was getting dark, I looked up and couldn't see much. I turned on a flashlight and scanned the muckfield between us and the shore. I called out her name and heard an answer from where I expected her knees to be. She had sunk into the muck and happened not to mention to us that she was buried up to her hips. It took us 20-30 minutes to dig her out. Needless to say, we didn't get to collect many clams that night, though the ones we did get were tasty.
In 1997, my parents and sister came out to visit during my senior year at the University of Michigan. It was their last night in town and Mary was going to hang out with me. We decided to take her to an all-you-can-eat dessert buffet on the top floor of the Dearborn Hilton. After gorging on sugar, it was time to throw down some beers at Bill & Ed's. Mary requested some wine coolers. That was an embarrassing purchase. My beerman almost had a stroke laughing at me. Of course, I couldn't tell him it was for my underage sister. I think she had two of those coolers that night. My roommate Kurt was out of town, so Mary crashed in his room. The parents came by fairly early the next morning to head home. Mary looked a bit grizzly the next morning, but didn't say she had any problems. After they took off, I noticed a funky smell. A little later, someone else noticed the smell. I went into Kurt's room to discover my sister had puked in his bed and had just pulled the sheets over the mess. Of course, not saying anything. I later found out that she is lactose intolerant and never said anything to us while we were gorging on cheesecake and such in the dessert room. Kurt never forgave me. He actually ended up throwing that mattress away and getting an old one that was stored in the basement.
It reminded me of when we were little kids. Back then, we were tossed in the bathtub together. We were playing in the tub, and I was moving toward the faucet to make a tidal wave for my duckie. Mary said, "don't go over there". Not understanding what she meant, I proceeded to the faucet and noticed something strange. I thought it was a playskool toy that had sunk to the bottom. However, I soon discovered that my quiet little sister took a quiet little dump in the deep end of the tub.
When I was still working in the lab, I used to head to Sal's Bar in Dunmore on Wednesdays with the 2nd shift. Sal loved us as we were some of the very few bar patrons of legal drinking age. Sal's was a favorite of the underage college crowd, especially on Wednesdays. It was '98, and we were throwing down some cold boys when I spied my sister and her gang of international students at the bar. I think she was 19 and a student at Marywood after returning from a year in Brazil. It was a bit of an epiphany catching your little sister out at a bar, but soon afterwards, we were all at a table toasting to the Cheng family booze prowess. One of my colleagues, Jackie, came back from a bathroom break ranting about the f&c#*ng a$&h01* who puked all over the women's bathroom. She continued to rave about how the puke covered the whole floor and somehow coated the walls, sink, and toilet. Apparently, it was a horror to behold, as the horkification of the pisser was the singular topic for quite some time. As the conversation progressed, I realized that Mary had become increasingly quiet and even more green-faced. At that moment, it became clear to me that this evil vomitress was indeed my quiet little sis sitting next to me. A bit later, Sal came to me for a 'sit down' about my sister. Sal is a guy that would easily fit in to a Sopranos episode. I reassured him that I 'meant him no disrespect' and would make sure my sister didn't get into any more trouble. This is the point at which I said "you are no Cheng" and officially disowned her. Heh, I guess it didn't stick.... but the vomit on Jackie's shoes did...
